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May 14th, 2017


07:21 pm - Leo out
After 13 years on LiveJournal, it's time to close up shop.

You can find me at http://luke-jaywalker.dreamwidth.org/ .

I suppose I'll be closing this account formally in a week or so, but I want to give people a chance to see this last post. Catch you on Dreamwidth!

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April 13th, 2017


06:48 pm - Dreamwidth
I suppose since all my remaining LJ friends are bailing to DreamWidth... if I want to keep up with them, I should do the same.

You can find me at http://luke-jaywalker.dreamwidth.org/.

See you there. For now, not Leo out (yet) but definitely Leo over, for a while.

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March 25th, 2017


07:08 pm - College
First full week of classes, although not completely. Things are starting to settle into a routine.

I'm in a state of ongoing financial meltdown, which kind of sucks. Still, it hasn't killed me yet. Maybe it won't. We'll see.

I've got three more years, minus a few weeks, more of this. Five, if I go on to a masters' degree. I'd like one, but constant financial crisis and poverty are getting tiresome already.

Still, doing something that I feel is really worthwhile and smart. Hopefully I survive it.

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September 17th, 2016


08:16 am - Raleigh, 2.0
There was a 1.0 and a 1.1, eventually of course there was going to be a 2.0.

I've made a decision.

Honorcon in that city is a definite go. I bought my flight last night.

It's going to be my last hurrah in the US, that weekend. Unless something important is happening in Boston the night of Sunday October 30th, I'll be flying out Monday October 31st without incident. I'm going to pick up my already-packed shit, tell roommate Michaelina it's time to take me off to another life, and-- go.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I honestly can not believe I'm doing this. It won't be real until it happens, I suppose.

But I'm leaving.

I am so going to miss all my friends. I'm going to be representing Henchman at a final US Southern con, and it will be an honor to meet everyone who can make it there, and then I'm going home to Boston and then-- going.

That will be it.

Good bye, it will be then. I can't believe I'm doing this.

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July 29th, 2016


10:00 pm - Raleigh, 1.1
I knew someone in Raleigh. We were close, I thought. Maybe I was wrong. Whatever.

But I liked her.

I've been asked if I wish her harm.

No, I don't. At this point I can't say I wish her anything but the best of well. Despite a breakup that by my standards was hostile, offensive and abusive. That still hurts.

But she's had enough karma. There are proportional limits to how much pain one can reasonably wish someone. I've actually been very long ago done with wishing her ill. Years ago. 2014.
I hope she notices this, and acts accordingly for herself. I don't think you saw yourself as paying a debt, M. From your perspective I doubt you were. But for the record, it was paid off karmically for my purposes a long time ago.
Take care of yourself, please. The best care of yourself. I'll be sending positive vibes your way. Including for the decision to see fit to make best for yourself. I hope you make a good one for yourself. You see the recurring line in this: *you*. Nobody else. No adult dependents. YOU.

You, damn it. You're an impressive woman, who I liked for a damn reason. Treat yourself accordingly, if you might see this. You'll never respond, but take care.

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06:28 pm - Raleigh.
A few things have happened at once. I haven't posted here in weeks, but since the major stuff all happened to #$#$ing coincide today, here goes.

Grunt work, to whom I've been depending on for $1200-2K/month since 2009, have told me I may be getting sacked. I may *not* be; it's uncertain at this point. But I may be. I don't even know enough to rate the odds. That it's a possibility is scary enough.

Because...

IRS has told me they may seize all my assets. Because I owe them ~$30K (the exact amount is not even known to my knowledge) and they can apparently grab my bank accounts without judical review.

Which is less relevant because...

Effective today: If you haven't been following me on Facebook or we haven't spoken personally, it may be news in the first place that I'm done with being an illegal in the US. I *won't* say I'm done with the US; I continue to admire the ideals this country is founded upon and they continue to remain mine. But the government of this country has strayed so fucking far from the ideals of Jefferson, Franklin and Washington that they would no longer recognize it. There's that, and there's the fact that after 15 years (16 total, I was 19 when I left and I'm 35 now) I'm done with being an illegal. It sucks.

That said, I wanted to wave the Libertarian flag for the 2016 election, be involved in politics one last time. Intended departure date was Nov 15.

Now intended departure is Oct 1. Fuck an election that is completely irrelevant to me personally when I'm emotionally and mentally done with this country. I wish the USA the best; the country is going to need every good vibe it can get, from any of the plausible 2016 scenarios.

I'll post about my actual personal circumstances later. This has been enough.

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June 16th, 2016


05:43 pm - (No longer) flying into danger
This is an update from a post I'd half-written but hadn't actually posted, titled "Flying into danger."

California has been driving me crazy. I live out in the sticks, in deepest Redwood City - a bad bus, that stops at 6:30 pm and doesn't run Sunday, to cover four miles between here and downtown Redwood City, where Caltrain is, that commuter-rail train being my connection to the wider world, Silicon Valley proper and downtown San Francisco.

Silicon Valley is livable with wheels. Suburbs are livable with wheels, and Silicon Valley proper is all suburbs. I don't have wheels and I'm not licensed to drive even a motor scooter even if I had the money for one. I'm 100% dependent on public transport and this has been, even with a good car-owning roommate, unlivable. So I've been excited to get back to Boston.

My good friend M. has had a room open. Probably a small room, but I'll be paying less than half of what I've been nominally (because roommate here has been good and understanding about my missing the last TWO rent payments) paying in rent here.

Originally, and this was still the case AFTER I'd booked my flight, this was uncertain and unverified. There was a non-zero possibility that I would be flying out on Friday July 1st to find no room available. I'd already looked up cat hotels and human motels. Did I mention that I'm taking Isaac with me this time because it's probably going to be a permanent move?

Anyway, certainty is now verified. I'm definitely going to be moving back to Waltham MA on July 1st to live with M. and others, and Isaac is going to meet (and hopefully not piss off too much, hopefullt they'll be friends) M.'s cat Seraphyna. Money is going to be DAMN tight, but the risk factor is now low.

Yay!

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May 16th, 2016


08:54 pm - Update
Amanda's alive, we spoke today.

She was in rehab, is all. She's been clean a week!
Current Mood: Pleased

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May 15th, 2016


01:59 pm - Damnit Amanda, where are you?
I'm worried.

I'm scared.

My friend Amanda, who to my shock a few weeks ago I learned is doing the brown poison, has vanished from Facebook.

She used to post every day or two.

I haven't seen her in two weeks. She hasn't posted, she hasn't been on chat. There's been no sign of her.

Please be alive, my friend. Please be in rehab or something.

Please.

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April 27th, 2016


12:57 pm - 5,300 words
Last night was productive, on Legion 2. 5.3K.

My daily objective, required six days a week and unmet until yesterday, is 2,000 words. This adds up to about 100K every two months, or six books a year. And 2K isn't a hard minimum.

I don't write big-L Literature. I write pulp; bang-bang and exploding shit. Yes, I try to write *good* pulp, but nobody reads this stuff for the wordcraft - they read it for the action, which I know I can do. I just have to get over my insecurity and my OCD to put words down.

Not making what I feel I should be making. Not where I always thought I'd be at 35. The solution to this is to work. I have leads on other writing work.

In unrelated, I have handshake plans to move back to Boston June 1st. Only a handshake on a room, and I'd feel a LOT more comfortable if I could have more than that (especially since I have a cat, a cat who is going to have a bad enough time on the plane without the nightmare of having nowhere to go on arrival), but... it's what I have.

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